Decisions

Decisions

How many of you have had to make a challenging decision? Now, I want you to think about that decision, and I want you to think of what steps that you took to achieve an outcome. Was the outcome positive or was it negative? Do you go back to that decision and wish that you would have chosen differently? Perhaps you second guess yourself on the steps you took to attain the outcome?  I’m an indecisive person at times. Sometimes I just make a decision to make a decision. There are times though, when I really must contemplate the decision. I really must think on it and study it in my mind.  How many of you have had to make thoughtful decisions? How many of you made a thoughtful decision about how many children you would allow into your family? Yes, this is very personal question.  I realize that some of you may be thinking it is simply that, a personal decision.

How many remember the book, The Population Bomb, written by: Paul Ehrlich and wife Anne Ehrlich. This book was written in the late 60’s to warn Americans that in the next 20 years there would be a problem with overpopulation. The purpose was to instill fear that American’s would starve to death. During the early 50’s-60’s America was experiencing its period of the “Baby Boom”.  The average birth rate per woman was increased to approximately 3.09%.  There was approximately 3.7 billion on the earth at this time. The population was thriving. Then, the anecdotal Bomb was dropped.

The world is now heading towards a Demographic winter.A dramatic decrease rate of fertility in women. The average birth rate per woman today is far below 2%. In fact, the world’s population today is 7.5 billion, and in 2050 it will be projected at 9.7 billion. The fertility rate is dropping incredulously.  This will not only affect our future generations it will affect the past as well. Where does the family line go? It will diminish. The world will suffer economically. Have you noticed the inflation with resources, and goods, and our food supply? What will this look like for our children and their future generations? This is not to create fear this is to educate and really see the trends in our society today.

A solution to this current problem would be to what is known as the birth replacement rate. Each and able and I say able because not every woman on this earth can have children. These women are equally important.

“Many of the best mothers I know are stepmothers, godmothers, aunts, friends who never bore children but, with their divine nature, rear them nonetheless. Theses women’s lives are not of less import or significance because of the methodology of their mothering… Not only did god create us to be mothers, but He also instilled within women, regardless of their ability to physically bear children, a deep and instinctual disposition of nurture.” (Gardiner, 2017)

                If we were to repopulate the world the birth rate would need to increase to an average birth rate of 2.13%. I’m not saying to, "Go Repopulate the Earth." It's more about making a very personal, powerful, and thoughtful decision. Its purely between you, your spouse and the lord. I would like to end with a discussion that my class mates and I were able to participate in. The same question was purposed, and this is my heartfelt answer.

Does it really matter how many I children have?

This question really struck me, in fact, to the core. I believe that one should not set a goal for the number of children to be had. I believe that one should do all in their power to provide a home for all the spirits god will send them.  Being a mother of three children, I have witnessed the blessing and sacred responsibility of these three amazing spirits. I have come to understand that they were entrusted to me. My children fulfilled one of their many wonderful goals in this life, they received a body. I am grateful that I could help them to attain that goal, “to provide and earthly tabernacle.” President Brigham Young purposes the question, “There are multitudes of pure and holy spirits waiting to take tabernacles, now what is your duty?” He answers this question perfectly, “To prepare tabernacles for them; to take a course that will not tend to drive those spirits into the families of the wicked, where they will be trained in wickedness, debauchery, and every species of crime. It is the duty of every righteous man and woman to prepare tabernacles for all spirits they can.” 

I knew at an early age that I wanted to be a mother, but I also wanted to make sure I prepared properly. My goal was to work hard, save money, and then get married. I figured by the time I was twenty-five, I would think about having children. Well, my life did not quite proceed in that order. I was married at 19, and blessed with my first child at 21. Then, my life was completely changed from there. During early mother hood, I did have feelings of inadequacy. I felt I had not stuck to my plan, and thought I was completely off course.  President Brigham Young sums up my current feelings completely, “Have your family as the lord intended. Of course, it is expensive, but you will find a way, and besides, it is often those children who grow up with responsibility and hardships who carry on the world’s work.” I came to realize that my plan was not the lords plan. My journey of mother hood was just beginning, and is of important work. President Kimball states,” Many young people plan to postpone their spiritual life, church activity, and baring of family, until they get their degrees or get established financially; and by the time they are prepared according to their ambitious standards, they have lost much of the insulation and powers of time.” My husband and I have made financial sacrifices by having children early in life. We may not be “rich”, but we have an abundance in blessings. Our schooling and careers have just taken a bit longer than we originally “planned”. I can confidently answer to this question. Did my life take a completely different path than what I wanted, yes! Was the Lords hand and timing in the details of my life, yes!  I think that spouses should prayerfully ponder and consider when, and how many children to have. However, Individuals must rely on the spiritual promptings rather than focusing on their own life plans.

After having my first child I was told that I should not have any more children. My body just did not cope well with delivery. I took the time to consult with doctors, my husband, and the lord. We found a wonderful doctor that had worked with this type of problematic delivery, and was confident he could help me to have another child. The nurses thought that we were nuts. My family disagreed, though we knew the lords was on our side. Three years later, my “little red” was born. The doctor was indeed directed and inspired by the lord, and helped my delivery to happen. However, he expressed concern about a third delivery. My third and final baby was very determined to come to earth he came by complete surprise! My son’s delivery was the hardest delivery, and let’s just say I was watched over.  Between the lord, and my wonderful doctor I am here today to watch over my three beautiful children. The reason I shared this was not to scare anyone, or to hinder the child rearing process. It was to re-affirm that our loving Savior and Heavenly Father, are in the very details of our lives. Through them anything is possible! Though I’m not able to have any more children, I will be forever grateful that the lord allowed me to provide three earthly tabernacles.

Thank you for listening. I hope that this post can motivate, allow creative discussions, and move one of you today!

Brittnee 
Gardiner, C. (2017). You Are the Mother Your Children Need. American Fork, UT: Covenant Communications Inc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZeyYIsGdAA