Love, Dating, Marriage
Love,
Dating, Marriage
The phrase, “fist comes love” has resonated in my mind
this week in reflecting on my studies in my Family Relations class. When I was in
my early youth I thought I knew and understood what the definition of the word
love was. I think it was easy to allow emotional pull to cloud the cognitive
understanding of the word, love.
When I
met my husband, there was something different about him then most of the guys I
dated. One thing I appreciated and admired was he set boundaries for the both of
us on our first date, and many more to come. One of the boundaries he set was a
curfew for our date nights. I don’t remember the exact time, though I do remember
it was a very reasonable time. It allowed me to feel respected and it allowed
me to feel valuable. When my husband set rules or boundaries, it accentuated
his, “qualities, attitudes, and mannerism”, in which I found him even more
attractive. We found that we related with one another and found it easy to talk
to one another. We found the “attraction and desire for a person” was what made
a strong connection for the two of us.
The night that my husband
told me he loved me is a night I will always cherish, and is a night that has
impacted my life for the better. I remember when he lovingly explained his definition of what love is, it has been somethings we both can attest to. Love: It’s when
you want the best for someone, you care about their physical and spiritual well being.
Let’s
look at some of the Greek’s definitions of love. Which do you find yourself desiring?
In fact, I encourage you to rate which ones are most important to least important!
If your feeling gutsy, jot down your findings in the chat below, I’m really
interested!
· Storge
(store-gay): love that is found in the affection between parents and children…
least discriminating love.
· Philia
(fill-ee-ah): Greeks highest form of love sharing commitment, affection. Intense
sharing between two people who have similar perspective on life. (love exists
between friends)
· Eros
(air-os): Third love. “Erotic” between man and woman. Sexual love- long to be
in each other’s presence. More than lust. More than desire for sex. It is
desire for sex with a particular person. “rather share unhappiness with the
beloved than be happy on any other term.” (romantic passion)
· Agape
(a-gah-pay): love independent of one’s feeling for another. Act on behalf of
the wellbeing of someone else, whether you like the person or not. I find the
word charity has a strong correlation with this word.
· Storge
Agape: love in which we will do to act beneficially toward another.
As our marriage has grown
with hard work on equal parts… lets be real a marriage isn’t always dandelions
and roses. We have found that each Greek definition of love has encompassed our
lives. We found that all have been an important aspect of our lives. I think
our Mutual Dependency has grown, “the fulfillment of our intimacy needs. All
need someone to love, someone in who we can confide, someone with who he can
shape experiences, someone who loves and appreciates us. As such intimacy needs
are fulfilled, we are falling in love.”
The proclamation to the world provides
concrete details in how men should provide stewardship over their wives. They
are to, provide, protect, and preside. So how does this correlate with dating
or going on dates? When a date is planned for and presented it falls under the
category of presiding. When a date is paired off, or one on one…for instance
date night with just me and my spouse, the sense of being protected can be
felt. Lastly, when a date if paid for, the feelings of being provided for can resonate
within. However, I do think it is important to take turns between man and
woman or husband and wife when leading the date nights. I believe this small,
yet important step, is one in many in cultivating the love between husband and wife,
or the budding relationship of dating. 
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