Family Stress & Coping

Let’s face it, we all have dealt with stress in our lives as some point in time or another. Stress is defined as, “strain or tension”.  People can react, or respond differently to different stressor in their lives. A few examples the way brain naturally responds to stress are listed as the following.  Depression, in this case the frontal lobe the creative problem-solving portion of the brain) shuts off. The brain can perceive the stressor as, there is no escape from danger. Another natural response is anxiety or a panic attack.  “The emotional memories stored in the central part of the amygdala may play a role in anxiety disorders involving very distinct fears, such as fears of dogs, spiders, or flying. The hippocampus is the part of the brain that encodes threatening events into memories.” (Henry, Alan). It’s almost as if the brain is going into alarm mode. Its saying hey there is danger, and let me help you, I know how to help. The final response that I would like to share is, shut down digestion mode. The brain is trying to find the root of the problem and the perception of the individual, is saying I don’t think that I can handle this, and the brain sends a message to the metabolic system, hey let’s go ahead and shut down. Between eight to twelve percent of Americans struggle with a well know syndrome that causes the metabolic system to shut down, IBS (Irritable bowel syndrome). The perception can be, I need a direct out of the reaction to stress.

Did we ever stop and think that our brains are created to find solutions, our brain can help us solve these stressors?  An imperative concept that I have learned throughout my life is this, “Fear and Faith cannot co-exist”. If individuals can understand the different cortexes of the brain and their functions, they may even come to understand that they can redirect their thoughts and allow creative solutions to happen. Perhaps, the perception may be redirected and allow stress to be a “marvelous opportunity” to learn from.

I would like to share a few centers of the brain and how they function with in each human being. The frontal cortex which consist of 38% of the brain is known as the “god center of the brain”, is the creative problem-solving center. The Limbic System (mammillothalamic) is located in the stem of the brain. This part of the brain deals with the emotions, metabolic, heart rate, breathing, and digestion. This system can essentially run on auto pilot. There is one more part of the limbic system that I would like to discuss, the Parietal lobe. The lobe that allows human of self-awareness. This lobe when allowed, can turn on and allow the individual to calm down. If individuals could tap in and understand how to redirect their thoughts and allow this portion of the brain to function properly, this could help anyone understand to respond cognitively, rather than react. The tools have been given, its learning and understanding in how to utilize them.

I would like to share an example that might allow one to see what I may be talking about and allow stress to be an opportunity.  And for this example, I’m going to be using the family system because I think every family has experience what is known as a, CRISIS. What are some crises that family’s may experience?  A few examples, death, divorce, loss of a job or being laid off, a loved one struggling with addiction, illness, etc. What happens to the family when they go through a crisis? The family structure changes. Reuben Hill created a model for stress within crisis, the model is known as the ABC and ABCX. A= actual event (stressor event), B= The family crisis- Meeting resources (both resources and responses), C= Crisis (cognitions relevant). I believe that one of the hardest thing for a family to experience is a family crisis. However, this can be a learning experience, to understand the resources available, and gain experience and knowledge for the future.  What happens when a second crisis happens? It may be the same exact thing a few years down the road, or it may be something completely different. The most important thing I personally have had to learn is not to go into shut down mode, or some may call it, flight for fight mode. I need to tap into that parietal lobe and calm down. I must think what resources do I have available? I have been here before how I can reach out if the sources are slim? Perhaps the family is better prepared and can respond to the crisis and possibly allow growth. It may be that it might be a few times the family will have to endeavor these challenging times of growth. It literally can make or break a family system.

God has given all a powerful, complex, and creative organ, the brain. Wouldn’t it be marvelous if we could learn to understand ourselves better? What if we learned how to redirect our thoughts? What if we could truly understand that, fear and faith cannot co-exist? What if we allowed stress to be a growing and stretching opportunity?

Henry, Alan. “What Anxiety Does to Your Brain and What You Can Do About It.”Lifehacker, Lifehacker.com, 20 Nov. 2013, lifehacker.com/what-anxiety-actually-does-to-you-and-what-you-can-do-a-1468128356.

I thought I would add some pictures of places that has allowed me to feel closer to our Savior and His creations. They are pictures that allow me to tap into that inner serenity. One of my favorite Prayers, 

Serenity prayer: God grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change;

courage to change the things I can;

and wisdom to know the difference.