Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

Sexual Intimacy and Family Life

            This week I have felt quite a bit of feelings and emotions dealing with the title listed above.  Let’s back track a couple posts, a couple of weeks ago I talked about the word Intimacy, and the fact that we are social creatures that yearn for intimacy. In fact, I think it is safe to say that intimacy is a need not an option. A simple definition of the word intimacy is, “involves love affection, caring, and deep attachment to a friend, lover, spouse, or relative.”

            It is imperative to understand the bounds of intimacy in marriage. Some may be thinking, what do you mean bounds within marriage? Were married… duh? Well, I think that it’s important to make sure that each partner is prepared and comfortable with the idea of sharing themselves intimately.  I feel like there is such a push and rush for couples to “become one”. I think this perception can be very deceiving. I can recall speaking to a newly engaged friend that was excited to get married. She told me she had decided to keep herself sexually pure. My friend was excited for her wedding night and becoming one with her spouse. I commended the efforts she had put forth and was happy for and her soon to be spouse.  The female friend sheepishly told me a week later that she was not as excited about being intimate with her spouse. She was honest and told me that she had not received any type of sexual education and she had no clue what to expect. My cute friend just needed some loving advice in how to allow them to be better unified.

            One of the tips of advice that I found useful and shared with my friend was that, “sexual satisfaction involves more than intercourse.” (Lauer, 94).  There are other ways to be intimate without having intercourse. I recently watch a video conference with Laura Brotherson. Laura recently published the book, Knowing Her Intimately, my professor of FML 160 class highly recommends her book. She shared a few ways that she advises married couples to explore and feel comfortable with one another. She recommends that a couple doesn’t necessarily have to start right off with a BANG.  She advises couples to lovingly and carefully create a safe place for being open and honest when talking about intercourse.  She sates that it is important to build upon steps of intimacy and that each step should be practiced for a week at a time. For example, a couple can start by spooning for a week, then the couple may cuddle for a week, then work up to further steps that can lead to complete and comfortable way of intercourse.

            I believe it is unfortunate how much the world has sexualized society. When they are so focused on the pluming of bodies, rather than beauty and sacredness, it allows the demoralization of bodies to occur. It made me wonder what the school systems have been teaching or polluting the young minds of children about sexual education? I feel that some parents are apprehensive to have the “talk” with their children. Some parents would rather the school do the talking. I think this can be a grave mistake, I’m a big on educating my own children in the proper bounds or right time. A great guide that I think all parents could benefit greatly from is known as, A Parent’s Guide. Here is the link that associated, https://www.lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide?lang=eng. I firmly believe that as parents or as a parent, we are responsible for the upbringing of our children. “To counsel with your children means to listen to them, give them advice, and teach them. This is very important, for as your children mature, your words become almost as important as your example. By giving your children spoken or written instructions and advice, you can prepare them to exercise their agency wisely, answer their questions, and help them understand the things they see in the world.” We along with the help of our Heavenly Father and Savior are shaping and molding the path to eternal salvation.

            The guide discusses appropriate bounds of communication for each stage of childhood. This was a question that I asked myself, and have heard from many peers? When do I start to educate my child about the ways of the world? The world that we live in today provides sexual education at the touch of a button. Is this the way we want our children and future generations to learn? Once again, I’m all about open and honest communication. When a husband and wife communicate with one another it is important to ask god with a sincere heart, when they will know when it is time to educate their child about sexual education.  It may be small steps such as good touch and bad touch or it may be when they see a pornographic picture or “bad picture”, you teach them how to respond. Though these are just skimming the surface, I truly believe the education in the home is critical for our children and if we as parents are the ones to educate them...  this will help guide them through the uncharted waters of life.